My real concern, however, wasn't even met. If the need ever arose that I'd have to jump off the lifeguard stand, I didn't know if I could leap far enough out to hit the water before inevitably hitting my head on the cement. See, as afraid as I am of heights, that fear is increased ten fold when lateral distance is involved. Thankfully, no one ever came close to drowning on my watch.
Age hasn't diminished my fear, even in the slightest degree. But when I neared the waterfall, located on the Sosian Ranch property, I wasn't going to let it stop me from jumping. My entire trip to Africa was about reinventing my independence. Breaking out of the shells of fear I protect myself with. Becoming a new, fearless, woman... one able to conquer anything she sets her mind to.
But when I could use the excuse of waiting for others no longer, I stood paralyzed. It was if I was 16 years old all over again, on the lifeguard stand forced to jump. My feet were planted on the small rock that served as a platform, too small to provide a running jump (or even a large step for momentum) over the rocky ledge that protruded out a few feet below.